Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LX (60th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure with the abortion pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their identities kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely help them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from Mela, a 23 year-old researcher from  Batanes, Philippines.

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients

—-
Hi, Alex here is my reflection. Thanks for all your help 🙂
 
“Maybe you should stop punishing yourself. I mean, what does a good mother do? A good mother does what’s best for her children. And maybe what was best for your children was wiping ’em out before they had to live miserable fucking lives.”

This was the line that forever changed my perception about abortion and maybe even about life. It was from a scene of my favorite series, Orange is the New Black where Bigg Boo talks to an inmate who has had multiple abortions. Watch it here: blob:https://www.mamamia.com.au/86ad4b2d-5e94-4565-8a50-6a7b20d7ee5e. It made real sense to me, growing up, I always felt like an unplanned child, though my parents claimed that my elder brother was the unplanned one. I am overly emotional most of my life and maybe it’s because I never really felt any emotional support from my parents. Most of the time I had wished that I was never born. So for the women contemplating about having an abortion, decide what’s best for both of you and the fetus. If you are not sure that you can handle parenthood, don’t force yourself to keep it. Financial stability is never enough! Children deserve genuine love and attention. Parenthood is really tough and complicated and you wouldn’t want to blame yourself in the future for not being a good parent just because you weren’t ready when you had children, would you? The world is already full of emotionally damaged kids, so please please please make good decisions! You can read more about my experience/roller coaster of emotions below:

 

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I found out I was pregnant last December and it was the worst time to know as it was a busy time and the merchants for abortion-inducing meds are hard to reach. I most especially hate pharmaceutical drugs. I’m a big “organic” alternative medicine kind of person, and so I’ve tried researching about herbs and tried everything from Dong Quai, Parsley, Aloe Vera, Citrus, to Papaya, but none of them worked for me as I was already on my 4th week as I’ve tried it and it just made me even more nauseated every single day. I also am not too committed to working in routines without the assurance of anything. I’ve already spent a lot of money for herbs and I also got scammed about someone selling “knowledge” about an abortifacient substance on the internet. Beware of someone trying to sell you without telling you what the product is. I can’t believe I fell for her scam, I was really desperate back then and she made an opportunity out of it. I’ve read about Project 486 and considered medicinal abortion would be my second option so I saved a few money to buy the meds just in case. I was on my 7th week when I finally decided to do the medicinal method. I just really wanted to get over it so I spent even the last money I had saved, as I know that having a baby would be far more expensive in the future. So after contacting Project 486, I was immediately scheduled for a consultation and decided that I do it right away. watermarked-60 entryAs the days passed by waiting for the parcel, I was having mixed emotions, scared and happy at the same time. Scared because I can never know what the outcome is, and happy because I know all the pregnancy struggles I was going through will finally be over soon. After receiving the parcel, I decided what day I would start the procedure as it was a three-day process.
Fasting was easy for me as I was already starving myself even before because of depression, and even now after the procedure I am not feeling too hungry and I like the way it feels. The first two days was easy and the last day was the hardest for me, of course. Physical pain was nothing I couldn’t handle but I’m starting to get worried during the first 6 hours as every discharge that came out was from the anus. Don’t worry though, Project 486 will surely take good care of you. In times that I needed reassurance, the emotional support given to me by my consultant was like a comforting hug from a friend, it was only a few words but it was all really what I needed. I wanted to get done right away so I just followed watermarked-26996348_10209925063538527_1524155537_nwhatever my consultant has said so I won’t mess up. After 10 hours, the procedure was successful. It was the worst and best day of my life.

Abortion is a really controversial topic especially in a religious country like the Philippines where people are mostly self-righteous and judgmental. I really hope that one day the stigma about abortion would finally cease so women can have safer access.

Stay strong and good luck with your journey!

-Mela, 23, researcher , Batanes, Philippines

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LX (60th entry)

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Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVIX (59th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure with the abortion pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their identities kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely help them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  

Here’s one reflection from N.K.,   a 26 year-old  Med Tech  from  San Jose del Monte City, Bulacan, Philippines.  

Its been 5 days since I did the procedure and I am slowly having normal life again. Its like I was given another shot in life.

My situation is not really different from other girls sending their stories / experience here. From all the emotions they felt when they knew about their pregnancy up to deciding to abort it, I went on it also. But the final decision of aborting the baby is solely my choice. Yes, I am on the right age to start a family, my boyfriend and I have stable jobs and its time to enter new chapter in life but I don’t think that its enough reason for me to continue the pregnancy. I am now in the peak of my career where a lot of opportunities are coming that will really support my family and I know that my parents would be disappointed in me if they knew that I engaged in premarital sex. I was born in a Catholic family, youngest daughter and my family invested so much in me that I cant afford to break their trust.

When my period was delayed, I was still complacent that I am not pregnant since sometimes my menstruation really comes late. But a week came and still no period so I informed my boyfriend about my situation and he said that he will take full responsibility if ever I am really pregnant. The next day I took a PT and came faint watermarked-z1positive, I knew from then on that I cant continue with it so I immediately look for safe ways to end it and I came across this blogger suggesting herbal abortion. I did everything for 8 days and yet only spotting happened to me and she said in her email that I can contact project486 if I failed the herbal way, and so I did. After all the talks, consultation and payment, I started having the medical abortion right away. At first, I was really scared of doing it alone since my boyfriend Is against it but after I talked to him, he voluntarily accompanied me ‘only to make sure I am safe’ (his exact words). The whole procedure is bearable for me since I have someone that I can trust and takes good care of everything so those who planned to do it, a companion is really a must since the procedure can be mentally and emotionally draining. 4pm on the third day, I received a text from Sir John that I am NOT pregnant anymore. They said that there will be a roller coaster of emotions but I just felt relieved that everything is under control now. I know that it is not what He wants but I also know that He gave everyone the free will to let us decide and choose the path we want to take.

To all the staff of project 486, especially Sir John and Sir Alex, I really want to thank you for all the help and support you willingly extended to me and to all the girls that are under the circumstances like mine. Its really good to know that there are people who are open to this kind and helping out to fulfill their choosing. I hope I can extend my help also to other girls by doing this reflection. Thank you again.

-N.K., 26, SJDM, Bulacan , Philippines

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon

“Getting the right information is winning half the battle.”

“The earlier you do it, the easier and better it would be. The earlier you do it, the smaller the POC’s (products of conception) , the lesser the pain, the lesser the emotionality, the faster  is your recovery.”-Project 486

“If you have the slightest doubt, the slightest hesitance. don’t do it.  If you are not 100% into it, don’t do it… by all means, bring the pregnancy to full term. Parenthood, despite its challenges can be a wonderful thing too.”- Project 486

“The ultimate decision lies with you, the owner of the body. Don’t do it just because you were compelled  by someone”


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVIX (59th entry)

Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVIII (58th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure with the abortion pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their identities kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely help them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  

Here’s one reflection from Sed,   a 32 year-old office  staff and mother of 2 from Pangasinan, Philippines.  

My husband and I have been married for seven years now and we have two beautiful daughters aged six and three. We could have been half-heartedly awaiting what would be our fourth child now if not for the help of Project486. Fourth because this is not the first time I have undergone voluntary abortion but I can honestly say that this time, I felt safe. This is my story –

It was May 2016 the first time I had voluntary abortion, I went with the Herbal Dong Quia route and then undergone supported D and C by practitioners in Caloocan I found in the internet. The experience was traumatic. The lady who did the procedure made me feel humiliated, talking me down like I did not deserve any respect. The entire procedure cost me a total of about 12k pesos and the feeling of being the worst human being.

Fast forward to November 2017.

I’m again late for my period, got positive pregnancy tests, and my husband and I are still not ready for another child. But this time, we definitely did not want a repeat of May of last year.

I did my due diligence and found Project486. From the first email reply to my inquiry to the last text confirming the successful procedure, I felt I was well looked out for – like I was in a hospital bed with an attending physician on call at any time of the day but better, because I was at home.

The experience was like building a Lego model, with a step-by-step procedure provided clearly by an instruction manual. Sir John was always very accommodating with my questions and have always been very thorough with his explanations. It was a very professional experience. I feel that there is no better way to tell my story with Project486 than to share the actual email and text correspondences I had with Sir Alex and Sir John showing how easy and safe and secure the procedure was for me as long as I followed their instructions.

I am now officially not pregnant and in the process to full recovery. My husband and I are forever grateful to Sir Alex and Sir John of Project486 for everything.

I am willing to let Project486 use the screenshots of the email and text conversations (with Alex and consultant) in their internet activities as long as personal data (names, location, etc) will be blurred out or edited.

–  Sed, 32, Pangasinan

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“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon

“Getting the right information is winning half the battle.”

“The earlier you do it, the easier and better it would be. The earlier you do it, the smaller the POC’s (products of conception) , the lesser the pain, the lesser the emotionality, the faster  is your recovery.”-Project 486

“If you have the slightest doubt, the slightest hesitance. don’t do it.  If you are not 100% into it, don’t do it… by all means, bring the pregnancy to full term. Parenthood, despite its challenges can be a wonderful thing too.”- Project 486

“The ultimate decision lies with you, the owner of the body. Don’t do it just because you were compelled  by someone”


 

Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVIII (58th entry)

Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVII (57th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure with the abortion pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their identities kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely help them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  

Here’s one reflection from Coka,   a 23 year-old student of medicine from Antique, Philippines.  Coka was about to do the procedure with misoprostol pills  (no mifepristone) she got from another online seller when she decided to avail of the free phone consultation from Project 486.   Her assigned consultant talk her into  doing the procedure with the right combination of medicine. 

She and her boyfriend almost risked failing the procedure by considering to do it with  misoprostol tablets only   but thanks to their sharp judgement, they heed the advice of the people  who truly care and ignore the misinformed online seller who was willing to compromise his/her  clients’ well-being in exchange for a higher profit margin. Misoprostol is very cheap in the international market and  by selling purely misoprostol packages, online sellers are able to maximize their profit margin to the detriment of their clients (higher risk of failure and incomplete abortion).   Majority of failed attempts at Medical Abortion are caused by non-standard procedures such as the use of misoprostol only. These patients also make up the majority of those who need to undergo Dilation & Cutterage (D&C) or “raspa”, an invasive procedure that  translates to more physical and financial costs and may have negative effects on future pregnancies.

 Very admirable was the support and assistance  given to her by her boyfriend  (also a medical student ) during the procedure.  

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients. 

This is our story…it all happened in one week.
LMP-October 24, 2017
On the day I expected my period to come(Nov.24), it didn’t. 3 days passed since the 24th, I just noticed my boobs were bigger and my nipples were sensitive –  which are what I usually feel and notice during my PMS. Now that it came after my expected day of menstruation, I was a bit alarmed. So I texted my boyfriend about this and he told me that my cycle may have been moved to another day ‘cos this happened before when I was under a lot of stress. But I had a different gut feeling, so I told my boyfriend to buy me a pregnancy test kit that night so I can take the test that following morning.
Nov. 28 – When I woke up I immediately went to the bathroom to take the test. And watermarked-00 pt03there, I saw two lines. I have already tried home pregnancy tests before but those came out negative. This time, it was positive. I was in grave disbelief and told my boyfriend to buy another PT kit hoping that the one I just used was faulty. The same day I took another test and this also came out positive. At that time, I could not believe what happened. It felt like all my emotions stopped working or rather were also confused as I am. I sat down and talked to my boyfriend about it and discussed about what to do. It wasn’t a very long discussion because we know what our priorities are and how this will affect our future. So we decided to do the abortion. Selfish as it may seem but we don’t want to raise a child when we are not yet ready.
We then went to the internet to find online help. There were a lot of shady sellers and truth be told, Project486 was not our first contact. We found a site that also sells abortion pills and so we contacted them. They replied immediately and gave us their different packages and prices. We settled for one that did not include mifepristone, and since we were too eager to get this done we decided to buy from that seller. But on that same day, we stumbled on Project 486’s blog and learned that they gave phone consultations. And just by reading through their reflections, they seemed to care so much for their patients. So we sent Project486 an email and waited for them to reply. But as the day passed, we just decided to pay the previous seller for their package through a certain bank.
That night, Project 486 replied. We thought that they might have replied too late, but we were still in doubt about the previous seller. So, we took the chance to seek their free consultation. Sir Alex gave us Sir John’s contact number as our private consultant. So we texted him that night and he replied right away about having a modified consultation. But since we already bought the misoprostol pills, we were faced with a dilemma whether to tell Sir John about it or not. In the end, we decided to tell him. We did not expect that he would still accommodate us despite having already bought from another seller. Instead, he was very relentless in convincing us to take mifepristone together with the misoprostol. So, we decided to call Sir John since it was part of the protocol to have phone consultation. He was very knowledgeable and we felt very secured with his words. As medical students, we were convinced that this was indeed not a scam for Sir John explained to us the mechanism of action of the pills and how the abortion will take place. And he kept on telling us to not go through with the abortion without mifepristone. Having talked to him, we definitely knew that by seeking their help we would be in good hands. So we bought the mifepristone from them and placed our utmost trust in them. After the phone consultation, communication with Sir John was constant. Even when my boyfriend got so annoying with his questions, he remained patient and answered all of them, hahaha.
Nov. 30(Thursday) – We paid for the meds. My boyfriend went to BDO that day but watermarked-01 paymentunfortunately, all their branches were closed due to it being Bonifacio’s day. So the payment was done through Smart Padala.
Dec. 1 – I started my low-folate diet cos we already expected the packages to arrive tomorrow(Dec.2)
Dec. 2 – We got the meds from both Project 486 and that other seller. The other seller still sent their instructions but we completely disregarded it at this point.
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That night at 7pm we started the procedure. I took the Mife. I felt a bit nauseous at first but I was able to sleep it off.
Dec. 3(Sunday) –  Low folate diet and fasting before 7pm.
7pm – First dose of the miso pills. 4 pills vaginally inserted. It was a bit funny seeing my boyfriend wear my 6 and a half sterile gloves though, hahaha. They were so small they barely fit his hands. As he inserted the pills though, it stung me a little bit down. It hurt a little but I would soon realized and experience the pain brought about by the misoprostols.
Sometime around 8pm – I felt some cramps here and there. My boyfriend was kind of worried at that time that the meds might not have worked since he read somewhere on the internet the side effects of misoprostol would be intense cramping pain. The pain then gradually increased as time passed by to a point where it felt like my entire inner organs in the lower half of my body wanted to crawl out of my skin. The pain was so excruciating, it was definitely the most painful physical experience that I have gone through.
Dec. 3 – At around 11pm, I finally asked Sir John if I could take ibuprofen as the pain was already unbearable at that point. He gave me permission to which I was very thankful of.
Dec. 4 – At around 12am, I told my boyfriend to get some rest. He was up all night and wasn’t sleeping enough the past days leading to this one. So I told him that I was fine after the ibuprofen and that he could rest for now. He snored like a hibernating grizzly bear that night. Kind of like how Darth Vader sounds under his mask, hahaha.
Dec. 4 – My pillow maneuver was scheduled to end at 3am, but sometime 2:50 am I had the uncontrollable urge to go the bathroom. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was already about to poop. I knew that this would be plenty and that it might fill the diaper that I was wearing. The moment I stood up, I felt an enormous amount of blood gushing out of my V. I made way to the bathroom and finished my excretions on a pail. However, I was also peeing and pooping at the same time so it kind of mixed along with my blood. As soon as I checked the pail, I noticed a bigger clot that separated itself from the rest. It looked like a fat worm so I took it out and washed. I remember Sir John saying that blood clots would disintegrate when washed with water but this one didn’t. I knew that this must be it.

My boyfriend was already awake at this point. In fact, he already woke up when I was still about to go to the bathroom. After so, we contacted Sir John and he told us to send our POC evidence. He said that my assessment would take a while as I had an early pregnancy. I decided that I had to go back to sleep while my boyfriend was inside the bathroom scouring the pail and laundry basin for more POCs that might have mixed in with the my urine and feces.

Fast forward to Dec. 5 we finally got Sir John’s confirmation that I was officially NOT PREGNANT! It felt like a huge load off my shoulders. Sir John told me that I was 3.5-4 weeks pregnant and that early pregnancies were very tricky as the embryo had just evolved from a mere blastocyst. Me and my boyfriend decided to eat out and celebrate. Now a celebration may seem ‘calloused’ but we had just gotten through something so emotionally draining and to be finally out in the light from a long, dark tunnel was just refreshing. And this was both our decision, we told ourselves before everything started that we would have no regrets. And we plan on keeping it that way. We do feel guilty about this, but not because we did the abortion. But because we failed to prevent this. We are both firm believers in God – we know that we have displeased and disobeyed Him. But all we can do now is to ask for His forgiveness and move on with our lives. We always reminded ourselves on whether to let a mess stay as a mess, or turn a mess into a message. Maybe this was God’s way of giving us a lesson to learn – we take it as this.
So, to all women out there who are in the same crossroads that we, in this blog, have been. The choice lies with you. What happened may not be your choice, but what will follow is. If you are confused as to what has to be done, then read our reflections on this page. It’s not an easy decision, but it is a decision that will give you a second chance in life. A decision that will free up the future that is ahead of you. A child is the greatest gift indeed– there is no doubt about that – but to receive something so great but you, yourself, are not ready to face the responsibility then you would only have wasted the greatness of that gift by being unprepared to nurture and give your utmost attention and love. Whatever decision you make is a risk so don’t ever think that going the abortion route is cowardice. Bravery is defined by your choice. And whatever choice you make, as long as you stand firm in your conviction and decision and rise up from the low point of where you are right now then you have become the bravest that you can be. There is no shame in making a choice; instead shame comes by not standing for what YOU believe and know is right. Whether you choose to birth or to abort, do know that there is no shame in both and that you are and will always be a woman of bravery and conviction.
Trust in Project486, you are in good hands.

-Coka, 23, Antique Philippines

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon

“Getting the right information is winning half the battle.”


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVI (57th entry)


 

Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVI (56th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure with the abortion pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their identities kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely help them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from J.N.  a 24 year old data encoder from  Rizal,  Philippines.  

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients.

Hi Sir Alex and Sir John!

 

Here’s my story,

 

I am the eldest in my family. Mataas ang expectation sakin ng mga magulang ko, although nakatapos naman ako ng pag aaral, kakaumpisa palang ng career ko. Ayokong madisappoint sakin parents so I did it.

 

After me and my bf did the thing, paparating na si mens. I’m regular actually. Nararamdaman ko na, na sumasakit puson ko lagi and my boobs were sore so we thought it’s safe. Dati naman kasi di naman ako nabubuntis. Yung mindset na yun yung nag bigay samin ng problema. On the second week of November, The expected week of my mentruation. (Sorry na, di ko kasi nabibilang yung araw kung kelan ba ko magkakaron, next time bibilangin ko na talaga. Pero 2nd week of the month talaga nag fa-fall yung day ng mens ko) Hindi ako nagkaron until 3rd week, wala. So I searched the internet how to induce period. I saw a blog which she advised to use dong quia, vit C and parsley, pero bes wala epek. di ko alam kung bakit. mag 2 weeks palang naman after we I had intercoursed. Feeling ko na overdosed ako sa vit C. 3 bottles of 500mg ang ininom ko sobrang nakakastressed ang procedure na yon.

 

On the 3rd week, di ko parin talaga matake na buntis ako. Napag- isip ko nalang na bumili ng PT. 4 pcs different day all positive.

Dun na tlaga ako nanlumo. Yung 1st take ng PT, after I saw it was positive, napaiyak nalang talaga ako. Dati gumagamit ako ng PT, sexually active kami ng partner ko, negative lahat pero ngayon iba. 1st time nangyari sakin. All these years ngayon lang naging positive. Iniisip ko nalang pano ko bubuhayin yung anak ko. Alam ko sa sarili ko na happy-go-lucky akong babae. Di pa ko ready. Pero at the same time, nakakatuwa kasi buntis ako, blessing to pero natatakot ako sa parents ko na kakagraduate ko lang, kakatrabaho ko lang nabuntis agad ako.

 

I saw in the blog the email ad of Project486. Nung una doubt pa ko … Ayokong ma-scam kasi sa savings ko kukunin yung budget. But I read carefully on the blog na madami na daw natulungan si Project486 so I decided, I contacted them immediately. Nag reply naman si Sir Alex agad. He gave me the procedure para makapag simula. He gave me the number of Sir John. Sir John texted me the exact time to call. Nung una talaga kinabahan ako, di talaga ako marunong sumagot sa call. Feeling ko kasi baka pagalitan ako ni Sir John haha. I was wrong, sobrang bait pala ng boses ni Sir John. He gave me advise on the02 payment procedure, nagkwento pa sya sakin tungkol sa ibang patients nila. After the call, He sent me the cost of the meds (buti nalang talaga may ipon ako). Nagkaron pa ng problema kasi there’s been a security breach, inaasahan ko yung meds ng saturday dahil dun na ko magsisimula. So bumili nalang muna kami ni bf ng mga kelangan sa procedure. Buti nalang 1 day lang ang delivery. So I payed immediately after Sir John confirmed.

 

03 medsDumating na si meds.

First day Mife day!  Nov. 25 (Saturday) I started low folate diet and fasting. Nasa work pa ko nung nag low folate diet ako. Ang hirap kasi matakaw ako. Bilis ko magcrave signs na buntis ako. Apple and Fries without dip lang kinain ko. Mahilig pa naman ako sa ketchup. I went home, grabe yung gutom ko, pinilit ako ni mama kumain ng kanin, napakain tuloy haha. On the midnight, I swallowed Mife with 1 cup of water.

 

Second day sunday, same thing low folate and fasting. Nagtaka pa si mama bat di ako kumakain ng kanin.  Sinabi ko nalang na diet ako.

3rd day (worst day) I went to my bf’s house kasi di namin pwede gawin sa bahay ang procedure. Nagkaron pa ng problem kasi we thought na wala ng tao sa bahay ni bf pero andun papala mama nya. So naurong yung sched ko para sa vaginal miso ng 10am. Pagkaalis na pagkaalis ng mama nya. Ginawa na agad namin ang procedure, tinulungan ako ni bf iinsert yung miso sa V ko. Then, lagay diaper nakakahiya man pero kelangan. then, pillow manuever para di dumulas si miso out of the V. Ayoko nun pillow manuever parang torture sakit sa likod. 8 hours di pwedeng uminom ng tubig at gumalaw. Pero tiniis ko. After ilang hours, sobrang sakit na ng puson ko, pero buti nalang may hot compress ako at buti nalang andyan si bf, kita ko sa muka nya na nag aalala na sya sakin, tinabihan nya ko at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Sya ang tumulong sakin sa lahat ng oras. Sobrang sweet at caring. Halos uminom na din ako ng pain killer pero di na ko uminom baka makaapekto pa sa procedure. Hanggang sa nakatulog nalang ako. After that, buccal miso. Nahirap pa ko ilocate ang buccal cavity ko kasi dumudulas talaga napupunta sa teeth ko. kala ko nga nag failed kasi napunta pa sa teeth ko yung tunaw na miso. 6pm end of pillow maneuver, pwede na kong tumayo. pagkatayo ko, biglang may lumalabas at the same time naiihi pa ko. so I went to the bathroom. May lumabas na malaking dark 04 pocs (2)colored flesh with light colored flesh sa gitna. I think that light colored flesh was our baby. Di ako nalungkot kasi buti nalang di pa sya buo. Lump of flesh palang sya. I emailed the pics to Sir Alex immediately and texted Sir John. And YES! End of low folate diet and fasting! Pwede na kong kumain ng regular meal at pwede na kong uminom ng tubig. And yes again! they confirmed that I am officially not pregnant! Sobrang saya ko although may halong lungkot because of our baby but pinag dasal ko nalang kay Lord na kunin nya muna samin si baby. Pag dumating na yung right time aalagaan ko sya ng mabuti.

 

To all ladies, if you’re pregnant and not yet ready. Project486 will help you. I gaguide ka nila throughout the process. They are professionals. They will not leave you. And also, be careful ladies kung ayaw nyo umabot sa kelangan nyo na gawin to. Nakakalungkot, at the same time nakakaguilty.

Thank you Project486! Di nyo ko pinabayaan. Sir John and Sir Alex, Thank you for guiding me throughout the process. Sana madami pa kayong matulungan! paweeer!

J.N.,  24, Rizal Philippines

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon

“Getting the right information is winning half the battle.”

 


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVI (56th entry)

Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LV (55th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  The story submitted are published as they are — no revisions, no corrections (typo and all) except for some words or phrases that may compromise the patient’s privacy . Here’s one reflection from Nari, a 28 year old government employee from  Navotas,  Philippines .

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients. 

It’s been more than 2 weeks since I successfully done my medical abortion. I am still healing right now. I’m sorry it’s very long reflection.

So here’s how it happened for me..

 

Sept. 25- this was supposed to be the date of my menstruation. But it did not come, so I thought maybe it’s because I was just delayed since I’m really stresses at work that time.

 

Sept. 29- I was at work then, I went to the CR to pee but when I was about to flush the toilet I noticed that there were blood in my pee, so I thought my mens came. But that night at home, when I checked my pad it was clean as new. (I guess it was the implantation bleed)

 

That’s the moment I knew I am pregnant “again”. Yes. I already have a child, but my partner and I were not ready yet to have another in this time, in this situation where in we’re still struggling to fully support our first born. I did not use any contraceptives, I tried using the pills but I didn’t like how it messes with my hormones.

 

Oct. 1- at 3am I decided to take a PT. The result was faint positive. I told my partner about it and he told me to relax and we’ll talk about it later that morning. Eventually, we came up with one solution and that is to eliminate it in my body.

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I began to research about abortion; I stumble upon a blog about using herbal meds for abortion. I quickly emailed this “sis” and she responded quickly, giving instructions on how to use herbal meds. She also suggested about the Project468, she said that these guys can really help me with my problem. So to make it short, I emailed Project468, gave Sir Alex the requirements needed for the procedure. He gave me the number of my consultant, which is Sir John. I talked to Sir John the next day; we talked about the process of doing the procedure. He really assured me that as long as I follow the steps correctly nothing bad will happen to me.

 

Oct. 15- I paid for the meds.watermarked-Screenshot_2017-10-15-13-12-25-03 (1)

 

 

Oct. 17- I got the meds

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Oct. 18- DAY 1

I was already on a low folate diet, which was hard for me to do because I am always hungry.

4pm- 10pm- Fasting

  • At 9PM, 1 hour before the mife intake, I vomit. I was really hungry and I suffered from bile reflux.
  • 10PM- I swallowed the mife with a glass of water then went to sleep.

 

Oct.19- DAY 2

I went to work and I was on a folate diet.

 

8PM- start of fasting

 

3AM- my partner helped me insert the vaginal miso. We adjusted the time because I vomit again. He was really careful in doing it. Sir John suggested that we should do the pillow maneuver. I was wearing an adult  diaper then.

 

4AM- I began to worry because I’m not feeling anything. No cramps, nothing. I keep on texting Sir John, but he told me to just relax.

 

5AM- I started to feel some cramps little by little. I have a high pain tolerance because I already gave birth.

 

7AM- 2 Miso tab intake (bucally) for 45 minutes and swallow it without drinking water.

  • My partner gave me hot compress because I can’t tolerate the cramps anymore. It helps a lot.

 

10AM- 1 hour before the last miso intake, I ask my partner to help me up because I feel like I am going to vomit. Carefully, as I was walking towards the bathroom I felt that something came out of me. I felt that a lot of blood is coming and also I peed into my diaper.

 

My partner and I checked in inside the bathroom, we saw a big clot of blood. I was so nervous at that time. We washed it and send some pictures to Sir Alex for documentation and identification if it was already the sac.watermarked-IMG20171019125553

1PM- Sir John told me that I can have my regular meal. I was so hungry then.

After I ate, Sir John asks me to call him. I describe him the big clot that came out of me. He told me that I am maybe in my 5th– 6th week. After our conversation, he told me that I am officially NOT pregnant.

My partner and I felt nothing but relief. We continue the day as if nothing happened and we’re glad that it’s over. All our evidences, we put it in a big garbage bag. I know that I am still in denial to what we did but also, it’s a good feeling that I was given a choice that my partner and I both know that “that choice” is much better and also for our future. Are we bad parents? I guess not. What we did is also for our son’s future and the kind of life we want to give him right now. We are only human; we make mistakes every day in our life. We are in control of our life and how we want it to be. We learn our lessons and move on.

I have nothing to say to Project486 but very big thanks! Thank you for not leaving my side during the procedure, especially to Sir Alex and Sir John. I know putting yourselves in this kind of job just to help patients like us to make a choice is very risky. More power to you guys!

 

-Nari, 23, government employee, Navotas City

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LV (55th entry)

Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LIV (54th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  The story submitted are published as they are — no revisions, no corrections (typo and all) except for some words or phrases that may compromise the patient’s privacy . Here’s one reflection from Jace, an 18 year old single mom  and a junior   college student  from Misamis Occidental,  Philippines .

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients. 

WARNING. This is a very long reflection so you might get bored and stop reading in the middle. I’m sorry if it is though, I wanted to write this reflection as detailed as I could for the other readers who share the same feeling of doubt and confusion. (Though even before contacting Project486 I already started writing this. Writing calms my nerves, so please, bear with me.)

I had the app called Flo downloaded as soon as I had a boyfriend. Not that I had plans or anything, for safety purposes, I guess, since I already had my first baby a few years ago.
My first baby was the product of rape, I was 15 back then and was oblivious to the real world. It happened on New Year’s Eve, I was invited to a party, got drunk and woke up feeling different. However, I was too naive to actually believe and convinced myself that nothing happened when I passed out, that it was okay to trust a bunch of guys from church. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew then that my initial thoughts of being touched while I passed out on New Year’s Eve was right. Nonetheless, I continued with my pregnancy with no thoughts of having abortion and had my first born child.
It was both a stupid mistake and a blessing I will never regret. I was young and didn’t think of the possibilities and after effects of the decision that I made, but I never regretted it.
Now, I face the same dilemma. Just that this time, it’s different. When I said ‘Yes’ to my boyfriend, I knew then of the possibilities of sex. I wasn’t sexually active and if it weren’t for that New Year’s Eve Party, my boyfriend would have been my first, not that it mattered now though. We were in college, both in legal age, and of course, in love. So I took precautionary measures and downloaded the app, Flo, to take notes and monitor my period and fertile days. In the first months, it worked. We were cautious and my boyfriend never failed to ask whether I was safe that day or not. However, there was one flaw on the app. It had to be updated every now and then, I learned that the hard way, of course. I put too much faith on the app, without realizing that it might be the reason of my breakage now.
I had my last menstrual period by August 23-28. When I checked Flo, my fertile days were from August 31-September 5. We were doing our best to stay safe so my boyfriend and I always made sure not to do ‘it’ on my unsafe days. We did it on September 6 and on the following days. On September 16, that’s when it hit me. I had access to the internet and Flo updated. When I checked, my ‘updated’ fertile days was on September 6-12 and not on August 31-September 5, the days when we had sex was unknowingly the wrong time to do it. Right then, I knew I’d be pregnant. I guess too much of everything being bad was right, I had too much faith in the app that I forgot to manually do the calendar method too.
My period supposedly arrived on the 23rd, but it didn’t. I was a regular, however, my period always came late, up to 3 weeks late sometimes. But this time, I knew it wasn’t late, rather, I knew it wouldn’t come, for some time atleast.

By the end of September, I already started feeling the early signs of pregnancy. I knew I had to do something, and fast. I wanted to do the herbal way to induce menstruation as early as I can, but timing was a bitch and life liked to mock me. I had an upcoming pageant by October 2, so I had to move all plans of inducing after the pageant.
Right after my pageant, I tried the Vitamin C method. I looked it up the internet, done it diligently, and stopped after a week. My body was already on toll, so I had to stop and use different methods. October 17, I started to do more research and found my answers. ‘She’ was the one who gave me full instructions on the method that worked on her to induce menstruation. It was the Dong Quai, Vit. C and Parsley combination. After 3 days, I stopped. It should have worked less than 3 days, but it didn’t. So I mustered up my courage and told my boyfriend about the dilemma. I was afraid, who wasn’t? You must think I’m stupid for hiding it when my boyfriend had all the right in the world to know. Well, I had my reasons. I had a boyfriend when I was raped and was pregnant with my first, I thought he would understand and help me go through with it. Sadly, he didn’t. So really, you can’t blame me if I couldn’t just say it up my boyfriend straightfaced, I had been through hell once, I wasn’t ready to face it again.
Luckily, I loved a man and not a boy. He was everything I needed, and more. He supported me, bought me the things I needed, called me when I needed support, checked up on me when he knew I wasn’t feeling well and did all the things I thought wasn’t needed but was helpful to me in the end. He respected whatever decision I made.
However, I was confused. Now that I was given time to think about it, a part of me still wanted the life growing inside of me. Yet I know it wouldn’t do us both any good. He is a graduating student, I am a junior and a single mother too. He wasn’t ready, and so was I. So we talked about it together and decided to undergo the process of medical abortion.
On the 25th of October I emailed the email address ‘she’ told me if the herbal meds didn’t work. I received a reply on the 26th. Took me 3 days to finally send a reply and finalize everything. Sir John was comforting. He had this soothing voice that made all my worries vanish. I called him on the 30th (we had an initial schedule for the phone call on the 29th, however my morning sickness kicked in and I felt nauseated that time so Sir John rescheduled our call on the 30th) and I was assured and had faith on the process Sir John was explaining to me. He was very patient and understanding, and that seriously helped me calm down, like a lot. After the call, he sent me messages of the important details I had to remember, the costing of the process, and everything I needed, both things to do and things to buy, to do the process right.
On the 3rd of November, I sent the payment through BDO. I got a text from LBC the day after informing that my parcel had arrived.

watermarked-z1

My boyfriend claimed the parcel on the 6th and I texted my consultant to inform him that I already have the parcel and that we planned to start the process on the 7th. However, unexpected events came so I had to stop my diet and fasting for the first day and moved it by 12am on the 8th.

watermarked-z2

By midnight (12am) on November 10, I performed the vaginal miso. You could ask your partner or companion to be the one to insert the miso, but I preferred to do it myself. I actually expected intense pain due to the contraction about 2 hours after the vaginal miso. Rather, I felt an “annoying and bothering” type of pain which caused my lack of sleep that night/morning. Nonetheless, the hot compress every now and then was helpful. Based on my experience, doing the process with your partner or any companion is a must, especially after the insertion of the vaginal miso since you would be stuck lying on the bed without moving for atleast 8 hours. My partner ensured to change my hot water compress every 20-30 minutes and made sure that I stay warm and comfortable despite being not able to move. And a quick tip, to be honest I had second thoughts in wearing the adult diaper and planned not to wear one, but my partner insisted so I bought 2 pieces and wore one after the vaginal miso. And believe me, it was one of the best choices I had done.
By 4 am on the same day, I had the buccal miso. I made sure the miso tablets stayed in the upper buccal cavity for at least an hour. By 5 am, I swallowed the miso tablets one by one. I had the urge to throw up but managed to keep my mouth shut and swallow the tablets. When I had these urges, I already felt the bleeding down there. So in short, every time I had the urge to throw up, I would bleed. Thank you for whoever invented the adult diapers, it was very useful indeed.
By 5:30 am, I had felt the “intense” pain I was hoping for. This was the start of the real deal contractions. This time hot compress and a partner really is a must. The hot compress eases the pain greatly, and your companion could do a great deal of help in your mental and emotional handling of the contractions, and a warm hand to squeeze too!
Having a eye mask and white flower was helpful too. Eye mask, to help you sleep and relax. White flower, for the vomiting urges and for relaxation and calming down too, just put 1-2 drops on your forehead and at the back of your ears.
7:30 am, I stood up and went to the CR and sat on the “arinola”. I urinated, then felt something fall off. After making sure the “drippings” had stopped, I washed my V with the feminine wash and mineral water, then called my partner to check what had fallen off. Wearing another set of gloves, my partner checked and cleaned whatever was there, while I sat on the bed waiting for him to finish. I already knew by then though, it was done. I just hadn’t mustered up any strength or courage to look whatever fell on that arinola. While my partner was inside the comfort room, I prepared the garbage bag sheet and layered tissue paper on top. After a few minutes, my partner confirmed the POC (we did thorough research on everything, so we already have an expected image of my POC). He managed to clean it as best as he could and placed it on top of the tissue paper. He didn’t want me to see it though, I wish I didn’t too. It made me feel horrible and emotional. I stared at it for a few minutes, trying to understand my feelings that moment, when I felt assuring arms wrapped around me and heard comforting words from my boyfriend. It took me a while to finally manage to calm down and took a picture of the POC to send to Sir Alex.

watermarked-z3By 8 am, I sent a message to Sir John informing him of the progress. I also sent the pictures via email to Sir Alex.
By 10:30 am, I received replies from Sir John informing me of the end of my low-folate diet and fasting.
11:30 am, Sir John confirmed via text message that I am no longer pregnant. They have seen the pictures I sent and congratulated me for the success of the procedure.

I could say, I never want to experience this again. Not only because of the physical pain one has to go through, but also of the mental and emotional pain one has to handle after the “successful process”. Though despite all the things I had experienced to let go of my supposedly second baby, I could say I was relieved when the procedure ended well. Project486 helped not only the me today, but also my boyfriend and I’s future, as well as the life that we could have given to our baby, seeing that both of us weren’t ready yet.

Having the abortion, whether herbal, medical or surgical one, may be a sin in the eyes of others. But what others see of you and feel of you is nothing, because what matters is that what you think will be right. Yes, the abortion could be considered wrong, especially in our country and our religion, but if you continued the pregnancy just because you believe that is what is right, do you think you could be able to provide the needs of your child? Do you think you are ready to secure the future he or she is asking from you as their parent? Do you think you could protect him or her in a young age from all the judgements of the people that surround him or her just because you had a child that wasn’t welcome in the world of others? I am a Roman Catholic by paper, but an atheist at heart, however that wasn’t why I chose to do the abortion. I chose to do it because I know that no matter how many times you ask me of the questions written above, even if it pains me, my current situation’s answer would be a no. I may had chosen to end his or her chance of living in this world, but I also ended the hard life on the streets, the misery of an orphaned child and the hatred the world could have given him or her if he or she was born.

– –  Jace, 18, student and single mom,  Misamis Occidental, Philippines

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LII (54th entry)