Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVI (56th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure with the abortion pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their identities kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely help them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from J.N.  a 24 year old data encoder from  Rizal,  Philippines.  

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients.

Hi Sir Alex and Sir John!

 

Here’s my story,

 

I am the eldest in my family. Mataas ang expectation sakin ng mga magulang ko, although nakatapos naman ako ng pag aaral, kakaumpisa palang ng career ko. Ayokong madisappoint sakin parents so I did it.

 

After me and my bf did the thing, paparating na si mens. I’m regular actually. Nararamdaman ko na, na sumasakit puson ko lagi and my boobs were sore so we thought it’s safe. Dati naman kasi di naman ako nabubuntis. Yung mindset na yun yung nag bigay samin ng problema. On the second week of November, The expected week of my mentruation. (Sorry na, di ko kasi nabibilang yung araw kung kelan ba ko magkakaron, next time bibilangin ko na talaga. Pero 2nd week of the month talaga nag fa-fall yung day ng mens ko) Hindi ako nagkaron until 3rd week, wala. So I searched the internet how to induce period. I saw a blog which she advised to use dong quia, vit C and parsley, pero bes wala epek. di ko alam kung bakit. mag 2 weeks palang naman after we I had intercoursed. Feeling ko na overdosed ako sa vit C. 3 bottles of 500mg ang ininom ko sobrang nakakastressed ang procedure na yon.

 

On the 3rd week, di ko parin talaga matake na buntis ako. Napag- isip ko nalang na bumili ng PT. 4 pcs different day all positive.

Dun na tlaga ako nanlumo. Yung 1st take ng PT, after I saw it was positive, napaiyak nalang talaga ako. Dati gumagamit ako ng PT, sexually active kami ng partner ko, negative lahat pero ngayon iba. 1st time nangyari sakin. All these years ngayon lang naging positive. Iniisip ko nalang pano ko bubuhayin yung anak ko. Alam ko sa sarili ko na happy-go-lucky akong babae. Di pa ko ready. Pero at the same time, nakakatuwa kasi buntis ako, blessing to pero natatakot ako sa parents ko na kakagraduate ko lang, kakatrabaho ko lang nabuntis agad ako.

 

I saw in the blog the email ad of Project486. Nung una doubt pa ko … Ayokong ma-scam kasi sa savings ko kukunin yung budget. But I read carefully on the blog na madami na daw natulungan si Project486 so I decided, I contacted them immediately. Nag reply naman si Sir Alex agad. He gave me the procedure para makapag simula. He gave me the number of Sir John. Sir John texted me the exact time to call. Nung una talaga kinabahan ako, di talaga ako marunong sumagot sa call. Feeling ko kasi baka pagalitan ako ni Sir John haha. I was wrong, sobrang bait pala ng boses ni Sir John. He gave me advise on the02 payment procedure, nagkwento pa sya sakin tungkol sa ibang patients nila. After the call, He sent me the cost of the meds (buti nalang talaga may ipon ako). Nagkaron pa ng problema kasi there’s been a security breach, inaasahan ko yung meds ng saturday dahil dun na ko magsisimula. So bumili nalang muna kami ni bf ng mga kelangan sa procedure. Buti nalang 1 day lang ang delivery. So I payed immediately after Sir John confirmed.

 

03 medsDumating na si meds.

First day Mife day!  Nov. 25 (Saturday) I started low folate diet and fasting. Nasa work pa ko nung nag low folate diet ako. Ang hirap kasi matakaw ako. Bilis ko magcrave signs na buntis ako. Apple and Fries without dip lang kinain ko. Mahilig pa naman ako sa ketchup. I went home, grabe yung gutom ko, pinilit ako ni mama kumain ng kanin, napakain tuloy haha. On the midnight, I swallowed Mife with 1 cup of water.

 

Second day sunday, same thing low folate and fasting. Nagtaka pa si mama bat di ako kumakain ng kanin.  Sinabi ko nalang na diet ako.

3rd day (worst day) I went to my bf’s house kasi di namin pwede gawin sa bahay ang procedure. Nagkaron pa ng problem kasi we thought na wala ng tao sa bahay ni bf pero andun papala mama nya. So naurong yung sched ko para sa vaginal miso ng 10am. Pagkaalis na pagkaalis ng mama nya. Ginawa na agad namin ang procedure, tinulungan ako ni bf iinsert yung miso sa V ko. Then, lagay diaper nakakahiya man pero kelangan. then, pillow manuever para di dumulas si miso out of the V. Ayoko nun pillow manuever parang torture sakit sa likod. 8 hours di pwedeng uminom ng tubig at gumalaw. Pero tiniis ko. After ilang hours, sobrang sakit na ng puson ko, pero buti nalang may hot compress ako at buti nalang andyan si bf, kita ko sa muka nya na nag aalala na sya sakin, tinabihan nya ko at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Sya ang tumulong sakin sa lahat ng oras. Sobrang sweet at caring. Halos uminom na din ako ng pain killer pero di na ko uminom baka makaapekto pa sa procedure. Hanggang sa nakatulog nalang ako. After that, buccal miso. Nahirap pa ko ilocate ang buccal cavity ko kasi dumudulas talaga napupunta sa teeth ko. kala ko nga nag failed kasi napunta pa sa teeth ko yung tunaw na miso. 6pm end of pillow maneuver, pwede na kong tumayo. pagkatayo ko, biglang may lumalabas at the same time naiihi pa ko. so I went to the bathroom. May lumabas na malaking dark 04 pocs (2)colored flesh with light colored flesh sa gitna. I think that light colored flesh was our baby. Di ako nalungkot kasi buti nalang di pa sya buo. Lump of flesh palang sya. I emailed the pics to Sir Alex immediately and texted Sir John. And YES! End of low folate diet and fasting! Pwede na kong kumain ng regular meal at pwede na kong uminom ng tubig. And yes again! they confirmed that I am officially not pregnant! Sobrang saya ko although may halong lungkot because of our baby but pinag dasal ko nalang kay Lord na kunin nya muna samin si baby. Pag dumating na yung right time aalagaan ko sya ng mabuti.

 

To all ladies, if you’re pregnant and not yet ready. Project486 will help you. I gaguide ka nila throughout the process. They are professionals. They will not leave you. And also, be careful ladies kung ayaw nyo umabot sa kelangan nyo na gawin to. Nakakalungkot, at the same time nakakaguilty.

Thank you Project486! Di nyo ko pinabayaan. Sir John and Sir Alex, Thank you for guiding me throughout the process. Sana madami pa kayong matulungan! paweeer!

J.N.,  24, Rizal Philippines

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon

“Getting the right information is winning half the battle.”

 


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LVI (56th entry)

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Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LV (55th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  The story submitted are published as they are — no revisions, no corrections (typo and all) except for some words or phrases that may compromise the patient’s privacy . Here’s one reflection from Nari, a 28 year old government employee from  Navotas,  Philippines .

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients. 

It’s been more than 2 weeks since I successfully done my medical abortion. I am still healing right now. I’m sorry it’s very long reflection.

So here’s how it happened for me..

 

Sept. 25- this was supposed to be the date of my menstruation. But it did not come, so I thought maybe it’s because I was just delayed since I’m really stresses at work that time.

 

Sept. 29- I was at work then, I went to the CR to pee but when I was about to flush the toilet I noticed that there were blood in my pee, so I thought my mens came. But that night at home, when I checked my pad it was clean as new. (I guess it was the implantation bleed)

 

That’s the moment I knew I am pregnant “again”. Yes. I already have a child, but my partner and I were not ready yet to have another in this time, in this situation where in we’re still struggling to fully support our first born. I did not use any contraceptives, I tried using the pills but I didn’t like how it messes with my hormones.

 

Oct. 1- at 3am I decided to take a PT. The result was faint positive. I told my partner about it and he told me to relax and we’ll talk about it later that morning. Eventually, we came up with one solution and that is to eliminate it in my body.

watermarked-IMG20171002102711.jpg

 

I began to research about abortion; I stumble upon a blog about using herbal meds for abortion. I quickly emailed this “sis” and she responded quickly, giving instructions on how to use herbal meds. She also suggested about the Project468, she said that these guys can really help me with my problem. So to make it short, I emailed Project468, gave Sir Alex the requirements needed for the procedure. He gave me the number of my consultant, which is Sir John. I talked to Sir John the next day; we talked about the process of doing the procedure. He really assured me that as long as I follow the steps correctly nothing bad will happen to me.

 

Oct. 15- I paid for the meds.watermarked-Screenshot_2017-10-15-13-12-25-03 (1)

 

 

Oct. 17- I got the meds

watermarked-IMG20171017143730.jpg

 

Oct. 18- DAY 1

I was already on a low folate diet, which was hard for me to do because I am always hungry.

4pm- 10pm- Fasting

  • At 9PM, 1 hour before the mife intake, I vomit. I was really hungry and I suffered from bile reflux.
  • 10PM- I swallowed the mife with a glass of water then went to sleep.

 

Oct.19- DAY 2

I went to work and I was on a folate diet.

 

8PM- start of fasting

 

3AM- my partner helped me insert the vaginal miso. We adjusted the time because I vomit again. He was really careful in doing it. Sir John suggested that we should do the pillow maneuver. I was wearing an adult  diaper then.

 

4AM- I began to worry because I’m not feeling anything. No cramps, nothing. I keep on texting Sir John, but he told me to just relax.

 

5AM- I started to feel some cramps little by little. I have a high pain tolerance because I already gave birth.

 

7AM- 2 Miso tab intake (bucally) for 45 minutes and swallow it without drinking water.

  • My partner gave me hot compress because I can’t tolerate the cramps anymore. It helps a lot.

 

10AM- 1 hour before the last miso intake, I ask my partner to help me up because I feel like I am going to vomit. Carefully, as I was walking towards the bathroom I felt that something came out of me. I felt that a lot of blood is coming and also I peed into my diaper.

 

My partner and I checked in inside the bathroom, we saw a big clot of blood. I was so nervous at that time. We washed it and send some pictures to Sir Alex for documentation and identification if it was already the sac.watermarked-IMG20171019125553

1PM- Sir John told me that I can have my regular meal. I was so hungry then.

After I ate, Sir John asks me to call him. I describe him the big clot that came out of me. He told me that I am maybe in my 5th– 6th week. After our conversation, he told me that I am officially NOT pregnant.

My partner and I felt nothing but relief. We continue the day as if nothing happened and we’re glad that it’s over. All our evidences, we put it in a big garbage bag. I know that I am still in denial to what we did but also, it’s a good feeling that I was given a choice that my partner and I both know that “that choice” is much better and also for our future. Are we bad parents? I guess not. What we did is also for our son’s future and the kind of life we want to give him right now. We are only human; we make mistakes every day in our life. We are in control of our life and how we want it to be. We learn our lessons and move on.

I have nothing to say to Project486 but very big thanks! Thank you for not leaving my side during the procedure, especially to Sir Alex and Sir John. I know putting yourselves in this kind of job just to help patients like us to make a choice is very risky. More power to you guys!

 

-Nari, 23, government employee, Navotas City

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LV (55th entry)

Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LIV (54th entry)

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  The story submitted are published as they are — no revisions, no corrections (typo and all) except for some words or phrases that may compromise the patient’s privacy . Here’s one reflection from Jace, an 18 year old single mom  and a junior   college student  from Misamis Occidental,  Philippines .

We always practice maximum restraint in publishing pictures of POC’s (Products of Conception)  from our patients even if consent is given. The default position is not to publish any pictures at all. However in this case and possibly more in the future, the decision to release the photos online is more for the benefit of women contemplating such a life-changing decision. It is best to do the procedure in the first first 4-7 weeks of pregnancy for lesser emotional and physical strain on the patient. We asked for the consent of the patient and she gave us the nod.  UNLESS CONSENT/PERMISSION IS GIVEN, WE DON’T RELEASE  ANY PHOTOS from our patients. 

WARNING. This is a very long reflection so you might get bored and stop reading in the middle. I’m sorry if it is though, I wanted to write this reflection as detailed as I could for the other readers who share the same feeling of doubt and confusion. (Though even before contacting Project486 I already started writing this. Writing calms my nerves, so please, bear with me.)

I had the app called Flo downloaded as soon as I had a boyfriend. Not that I had plans or anything, for safety purposes, I guess, since I already had my first baby a few years ago.
My first baby was the product of rape, I was 15 back then and was oblivious to the real world. It happened on New Year’s Eve, I was invited to a party, got drunk and woke up feeling different. However, I was too naive to actually believe and convinced myself that nothing happened when I passed out, that it was okay to trust a bunch of guys from church. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew then that my initial thoughts of being touched while I passed out on New Year’s Eve was right. Nonetheless, I continued with my pregnancy with no thoughts of having abortion and had my first born child.
It was both a stupid mistake and a blessing I will never regret. I was young and didn’t think of the possibilities and after effects of the decision that I made, but I never regretted it.
Now, I face the same dilemma. Just that this time, it’s different. When I said ‘Yes’ to my boyfriend, I knew then of the possibilities of sex. I wasn’t sexually active and if it weren’t for that New Year’s Eve Party, my boyfriend would have been my first, not that it mattered now though. We were in college, both in legal age, and of course, in love. So I took precautionary measures and downloaded the app, Flo, to take notes and monitor my period and fertile days. In the first months, it worked. We were cautious and my boyfriend never failed to ask whether I was safe that day or not. However, there was one flaw on the app. It had to be updated every now and then, I learned that the hard way, of course. I put too much faith on the app, without realizing that it might be the reason of my breakage now.
I had my last menstrual period by August 23-28. When I checked Flo, my fertile days were from August 31-September 5. We were doing our best to stay safe so my boyfriend and I always made sure not to do ‘it’ on my unsafe days. We did it on September 6 and on the following days. On September 16, that’s when it hit me. I had access to the internet and Flo updated. When I checked, my ‘updated’ fertile days was on September 6-12 and not on August 31-September 5, the days when we had sex was unknowingly the wrong time to do it. Right then, I knew I’d be pregnant. I guess too much of everything being bad was right, I had too much faith in the app that I forgot to manually do the calendar method too.
My period supposedly arrived on the 23rd, but it didn’t. I was a regular, however, my period always came late, up to 3 weeks late sometimes. But this time, I knew it wasn’t late, rather, I knew it wouldn’t come, for some time atleast.

By the end of September, I already started feeling the early signs of pregnancy. I knew I had to do something, and fast. I wanted to do the herbal way to induce menstruation as early as I can, but timing was a bitch and life liked to mock me. I had an upcoming pageant by October 2, so I had to move all plans of inducing after the pageant.
Right after my pageant, I tried the Vitamin C method. I looked it up the internet, done it diligently, and stopped after a week. My body was already on toll, so I had to stop and use different methods. October 17, I started to do more research and found my answers. ‘She’ was the one who gave me full instructions on the method that worked on her to induce menstruation. It was the Dong Quai, Vit. C and Parsley combination. After 3 days, I stopped. It should have worked less than 3 days, but it didn’t. So I mustered up my courage and told my boyfriend about the dilemma. I was afraid, who wasn’t? You must think I’m stupid for hiding it when my boyfriend had all the right in the world to know. Well, I had my reasons. I had a boyfriend when I was raped and was pregnant with my first, I thought he would understand and help me go through with it. Sadly, he didn’t. So really, you can’t blame me if I couldn’t just say it up my boyfriend straightfaced, I had been through hell once, I wasn’t ready to face it again.
Luckily, I loved a man and not a boy. He was everything I needed, and more. He supported me, bought me the things I needed, called me when I needed support, checked up on me when he knew I wasn’t feeling well and did all the things I thought wasn’t needed but was helpful to me in the end. He respected whatever decision I made.
However, I was confused. Now that I was given time to think about it, a part of me still wanted the life growing inside of me. Yet I know it wouldn’t do us both any good. He is a graduating student, I am a junior and a single mother too. He wasn’t ready, and so was I. So we talked about it together and decided to undergo the process of medical abortion.
On the 25th of October I emailed the email address ‘she’ told me if the herbal meds didn’t work. I received a reply on the 26th. Took me 3 days to finally send a reply and finalize everything. Sir John was comforting. He had this soothing voice that made all my worries vanish. I called him on the 30th (we had an initial schedule for the phone call on the 29th, however my morning sickness kicked in and I felt nauseated that time so Sir John rescheduled our call on the 30th) and I was assured and had faith on the process Sir John was explaining to me. He was very patient and understanding, and that seriously helped me calm down, like a lot. After the call, he sent me messages of the important details I had to remember, the costing of the process, and everything I needed, both things to do and things to buy, to do the process right.
On the 3rd of November, I sent the payment through BDO. I got a text from LBC the day after informing that my parcel had arrived.

watermarked-z1

My boyfriend claimed the parcel on the 6th and I texted my consultant to inform him that I already have the parcel and that we planned to start the process on the 7th. However, unexpected events came so I had to stop my diet and fasting for the first day and moved it by 12am on the 8th.

watermarked-z2

By midnight (12am) on November 10, I performed the vaginal miso. You could ask your partner or companion to be the one to insert the miso, but I preferred to do it myself. I actually expected intense pain due to the contraction about 2 hours after the vaginal miso. Rather, I felt an “annoying and bothering” type of pain which caused my lack of sleep that night/morning. Nonetheless, the hot compress every now and then was helpful. Based on my experience, doing the process with your partner or any companion is a must, especially after the insertion of the vaginal miso since you would be stuck lying on the bed without moving for atleast 8 hours. My partner ensured to change my hot water compress every 20-30 minutes and made sure that I stay warm and comfortable despite being not able to move. And a quick tip, to be honest I had second thoughts in wearing the adult diaper and planned not to wear one, but my partner insisted so I bought 2 pieces and wore one after the vaginal miso. And believe me, it was one of the best choices I had done.
By 4 am on the same day, I had the buccal miso. I made sure the miso tablets stayed in the upper buccal cavity for at least an hour. By 5 am, I swallowed the miso tablets one by one. I had the urge to throw up but managed to keep my mouth shut and swallow the tablets. When I had these urges, I already felt the bleeding down there. So in short, every time I had the urge to throw up, I would bleed. Thank you for whoever invented the adult diapers, it was very useful indeed.
By 5:30 am, I had felt the “intense” pain I was hoping for. This was the start of the real deal contractions. This time hot compress and a partner really is a must. The hot compress eases the pain greatly, and your companion could do a great deal of help in your mental and emotional handling of the contractions, and a warm hand to squeeze too!
Having a eye mask and white flower was helpful too. Eye mask, to help you sleep and relax. White flower, for the vomiting urges and for relaxation and calming down too, just put 1-2 drops on your forehead and at the back of your ears.
7:30 am, I stood up and went to the CR and sat on the “arinola”. I urinated, then felt something fall off. After making sure the “drippings” had stopped, I washed my V with the feminine wash and mineral water, then called my partner to check what had fallen off. Wearing another set of gloves, my partner checked and cleaned whatever was there, while I sat on the bed waiting for him to finish. I already knew by then though, it was done. I just hadn’t mustered up any strength or courage to look whatever fell on that arinola. While my partner was inside the comfort room, I prepared the garbage bag sheet and layered tissue paper on top. After a few minutes, my partner confirmed the POC (we did thorough research on everything, so we already have an expected image of my POC). He managed to clean it as best as he could and placed it on top of the tissue paper. He didn’t want me to see it though, I wish I didn’t too. It made me feel horrible and emotional. I stared at it for a few minutes, trying to understand my feelings that moment, when I felt assuring arms wrapped around me and heard comforting words from my boyfriend. It took me a while to finally manage to calm down and took a picture of the POC to send to Sir Alex.

watermarked-z3By 8 am, I sent a message to Sir John informing him of the progress. I also sent the pictures via email to Sir Alex.
By 10:30 am, I received replies from Sir John informing me of the end of my low-folate diet and fasting.
11:30 am, Sir John confirmed via text message that I am no longer pregnant. They have seen the pictures I sent and congratulated me for the success of the procedure.

I could say, I never want to experience this again. Not only because of the physical pain one has to go through, but also of the mental and emotional pain one has to handle after the “successful process”. Though despite all the things I had experienced to let go of my supposedly second baby, I could say I was relieved when the procedure ended well. Project486 helped not only the me today, but also my boyfriend and I’s future, as well as the life that we could have given to our baby, seeing that both of us weren’t ready yet.

Having the abortion, whether herbal, medical or surgical one, may be a sin in the eyes of others. But what others see of you and feel of you is nothing, because what matters is that what you think will be right. Yes, the abortion could be considered wrong, especially in our country and our religion, but if you continued the pregnancy just because you believe that is what is right, do you think you could be able to provide the needs of your child? Do you think you are ready to secure the future he or she is asking from you as their parent? Do you think you could protect him or her in a young age from all the judgements of the people that surround him or her just because you had a child that wasn’t welcome in the world of others? I am a Roman Catholic by paper, but an atheist at heart, however that wasn’t why I chose to do the abortion. I chose to do it because I know that no matter how many times you ask me of the questions written above, even if it pains me, my current situation’s answer would be a no. I may had chosen to end his or her chance of living in this world, but I also ended the hard life on the streets, the misery of an orphaned child and the hatred the world could have given him or her if he or she was born.

– –  Jace, 18, student and single mom,  Misamis Occidental, Philippines

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon


Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines LII (54th entry)