PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XLVI

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from H.A,  a 20-year old  part timer  from  Oriental Mindoro,  Philippines

Sometimes you just got to take that one hell of a step and risk it all.” First of all I wanna say sorry to God, to my family, my boyfriend, and to my baby. I’m sorry for being selfish, coward, irresponsible and stupid. No reason is acceptable to do that kind of thing but i hope you can still forgive me. I am really sorry.

When I found out that I’m pregnant, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Halo halong emosyon ang naramdaman ko. Hindi ko maintindihan, kung bakit ngayon pa? Ngayon na agad? Nahirapan ako ng sobra sa pagdededisyon, at yung desisyon ko na yun, yun na ata ang papatay sakin sa lungkot. Malalaman mo lang talaga kung gano kahirap kung ikaw na ang nasa sitwasyon na yon. Marami akong naging dahilan para mging ganun ang desisyon ko pero tulad nga ng sinabi ko, walang valid reason para gawin ang bagay na yun. I tried to search for home remedies and meds to induce miscarriage but it failed. I was so f_cking desperate that time until I found project 486. I read reflections of women about abortion with the help of project 486. So i emailed them, and fortunately nagreply si sir alex, i followed the instructions they gave to me hanggang sa makuha ko na yung meds at nagstart sa procedure. I wanna thank sir alex and sir john who guided me all throughout the procedure. Hindi naging madali ang procedure para sakin, pero salamat sa project 486 at sa bestfriend ko na hindi ako iniwan dahil sila lang ang nakakaalam ng tungkol don. Oo masakit yung pinagdaanan ko sa procedure and yes it was successful pero mas masakit pala nung nawala na ng tuluyan yung baby ko. Araw araw, oras oras, minu minuto ko syang naiisip. Ang hirap.I am ashamed of myself at pakiramdam ko napakasama ko.

Baby, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for everything. I know it may be impossible but can you please come back to me when everything’s fine. I love you so much but I’m sorry. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

To project 486, thank you for your team. It was a great and big help.

To my bestfriend, thank you for everything.

G. & baby I’m really sorry for doing this.

-H.A. , 20. Oriental Mindoro, Philippines

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon


PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XLVI

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PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XLV

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from Madj,  a 19-year old  student  from  Quezon City,  Philippines

This is my story,

2 months na yung baby ko nung nalaman ko na buntis ako, pinuntahan ko agad yung boyfriend ko at iyak ako ng iyak kasi ayoko pa, ayaw niya parin,hindi pa nami kaya. Graduating student pa ako sobrang gumuho yung mundo ko ng nalaman ko yun. Ilang araw pa yung lumipas napagisipan namin na ipalaglag, dasal ako ng dasal dahil alam kong mali yung gagawin ko at ayokong mapahamak. Nagresearch akong herbal medicine, and nagusap kami through gmail,nung nalaman niya na 10weeks pregnant na ako, she mentioned abortion pills na ang gawin ko and binigay niya yung email ng project486. Dun ko nakausap si Sir Alex, He first ask me to answer some questions,natagalan ako magrespond dahil nasa stage ako ng pagdadalawang isip dahil natatakot ako. Pero nung nagresearch pa ako about sa abortion pills nakita ko na may pagasa pa na maging successful so tinuloy ko yung pagtatanong na Kay sir Alex at nagsend nadin ako ng Ultrasound ko at sinunod yung mga instructions ni Sir Alex.

Isa sa instruction niya ay yung I message si Sir John for phone consultation. Inabot na ako ng 12th week ng pregnancy ko bago naayos lahat dahil nga medyo mahal din yung pills, Kaya medyo risky na yung gagawin ko. Pagkapadala ko ng payment I received the meds the day after at inutusan na ako ni Sir John na sundin lahat ng instruction niya lalo na yung Time table. First take ko ng mife pills nag bleed na agad ako, which is a good sign daw nung tinanong ko Kay sir John,ang mahirap sa first process ko ay yung fasting lalo na’t matakaw ako 😀 then next day fasting and low folate diet naman,sobrang sakit na ng puson ko pero tolerable naman sa tulong ng hot compress. Next procedure naman is yung miso pills, 11:30 nagtake na ako syempre sinusunod ko parin yung instruction ni Sir, 3am lumabas na yung fetus ko na nakabalot parin siya sa placenta. Sobrang naiiyak ako guilt siguro pero inisip ko nalang na this is my another chance para sa susunod na magiging baby ko nasa tama na ang lahat.

So ang payo ko sa mga babae na katulad ko, mag ingat po tayong lahat dahil hindi madali ang pagbubuntis lalo na kung hindi ka pa handa, at siguraduhin lahat ng desisyon na gagawin. Sobrang pasasalamat ko sa project486 lalo na kay sir john for monitoring me sa procedure I owe you my second chance in life. Godbless.

Madj, 19, student, Quezon City, Philippines

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon


PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XLV

PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XLIV

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection about their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from Dana,  a 20-year old  student  from  Butuan City,  Philippines

When I didn’t get my period on my ‘expected day/s’, I didn’t panic. I thought I just got delayed due to being stressed over many things. But a week after, I and my partner decided to have an induced menstruation. As what we’ve learned from searching in the internet, this can be done by taking vitamin C. I have followed a routine of taking up vitamin C for over a week, added parsley and dong quai to the routine, but got no results. From that moment, we know that I am pregnant. We just need a confirmation, so I took a pregnancy test. As expected, the result was positive. I didn’t know what to feel at that time. I was shocked and scared at the same time. Yes, I was shocked. Even if I already have the thought that I am pregnant, the feeling isn’t the same when I actually saw the result of the pregnancy test. I am a student at the time, and my partner just got hired in his work: we both knew what to do. We cannot afford to bear a child. We were both believers in the value of life, but for the same reason we decided to have an abortion. We are both not ready for such a commitment, and we knew that that’s the best decision we could do for this situation.

As I was busy with continuing my studies, it is my partner who researched about medical abortion. Fortunately, he learned about Project 486, and I contacted them. I was hesitant at first, I didn’t know who these guys were and if they can really help me. But it is never wrong to try, so I did. The communication went so fast, and I followed every instructions given to me. We had a hard time finding money, but we find ways because we are motivated to do so. We have to make a big decision. We need to.

After obtaining the necessary medicines for the procedures from Project 486, I and my partner set out a ‘vacation’ over the weekends. It was a very good timing because there was also a holiday after the weekend, which gave us enough time for the procedures, and a valid alibi as to our whereabouts. I religiously followed everything that was set out by my consultant. It was of very great help to have someone to be with you during these days (I recommend that you have someone to help you in the procedures to make it easier). It was my partner who gave me comfort as I was feeling rage of emotions over these times, and even after the procedures.

Discovering Project 486 was such a relief, even from the beginning. Knowing that there are those that are willing to help you in such a critical decision is a big help already. Much more about learning how to perform the procedures correctly. As we know, a lot of “abortionist” are in different places in the country, but having a medical abortion is, for me, less scary and safer. Project 486 provided me with such details and instructions on what to do before, during, and even after the procedures, and that’s what makes it worthy to be thanked for. Imagine being helped by people who doesn’t even know you personally. I’m at loss of words to thank these people.

The experience was a scary one (you never know what could go wrong) but fulfilling. When I personally saw the POC (Product of Conception), my partner was expecting me to cry. But I didn’t. I smiled. There was a feeling of great relief that surrounded me. Because I know, that at last, it is done.

After the procedures, we’ve went back to our usual daily activities, bearing in mind that we have to be more responsible with our actions, as there will always be a consequence in everything we do. My partner constantly checked on me (and my consultant too!), and comforted me when I feel sudden emotions that even I don’t understand. Fortunately, I recovered fast (thanks to my busy schedules and activities).

Having this experience, I believe, does not make me a bad person at all. Each of us is entitled to make our own decisions. I say so, because before I’ve decided to undergo through this, I knew that this was the right thing to do. While others may not understand this point, I know, you who’s reading this, you who’s having the same situation as I have had, will do. We all deserved to, as what my consultant told me, “Get right back on track” after having a mistake. However, let us also bear in mind the lessons we get from this experience. Let us be better persons. Better than yesterday. We are more than the mistakes we’ve done, more than our imperfections.

– Dana, 20, student,  Butuan City

 

“Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you” – P. Dixon

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PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XLIV