After I sent my first e-mail, I was quite anxious if they would
After I sent my first e-mail, I was quite anxious if they would
To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection on their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential). A “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery and to a new beginning. Here’s one reflection from Rocky, a 25 year old data encoder from Cavite, Philippines. She chose to address female readers directly.
Hi girls! I’m Roxy, a mother of one child. 26 years of age. Just got separated from the father of my child last year and got my new boyfriend last May. Like in your case, I got pregnant unwanted, unexpected and really unplanned. But in this recent case of mine, I really need to do the procedure of abortion for I could not affect many lives to choose over one life. I don’t know if I can give you girls courage and guts in thinking, planning and doing an abortion; cause me, myself, never ever think, plan and do it.
I am sharing this not to encourage you girls to do abortion but PLEASE HAVE A RESPONSIBLE SEX AND FACE THE CONSIQUENCES OF IT, IF MISSED!
Thank you Project486 (Alex and John); Ms. Sampaguita who told me about this Project486 that help me in my situation. This won’t be a success without them.
By the way, I send this story exactly 40 days after the successful procedure. 40 days death of my supposed to be “BABY”… Sorry Little one. ;
-Rocky , 25, data encoder, Cavite, Philippines
” Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you.” – P. Dixon
PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XX
For a change, here is J, a 21 year old college student who had just purchased the med package today. J is one of the many present and past patients who failed in their first attempt (different med supplier) at medically induced miscarriage. J’s failure can be attributed to substandard medication (meds only have a at least 1/4 of the active substance), poor technical support from the provider of the meds, and wrong procedure. It would be pretty inaccurate to say that the Medical Procedure didn’t work for her because what she did the first time was not according to the standard set by the World Health Organization on early termination of pregnancies. Here she is sharing her misfortune of failing her first first attempt because of the lack of professional advice (and probably substandard meds) and at the same time expressing her optimism in doing it right this time with Project 486
Nov. 2, 2016
Dear Project 486,
My name is J. I am 21 years old and I just graduated from college. My family lives abroad while I stayed here in the Philippines through my whole college years. Being the eldest in the family has always been a burden to me. My parents expected me to graduate on time and to not disappoint them in any way because our family’s reputation was the most important to them. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make my parent’s dream come true of them wanting me to become a registered nurse by now. I didn’t see my future in the field of Nursing, so I shifted to a different course. My parents were devastated. Until now they keep reminding me of how I’d get a better future and career if only I ended up being nurse… I never felt good enough for my family even though I knew that what they wanted was better for me and especially for them, since I was their firstborn who would be able to help raise and support my siblings.
I understand my parents. I know how hard it is to sacrifice just to survive and provide for the family. I talk to them everyday and they always tell me how tired they are of working hours and hours without sleep just to give my siblings and I a good life. I love my family so much that I’d never want to disappoint them again. I have failures of different kinds but being a disgrace to the family is one that I would never ever commit to. This is why I decided to go through with the abortion when I first found out that I was pregnant. When I saw the two lines on the pregnancy test, I didn’t know what to feel. All I had in mind is that I have to get a job to help out with the family.
I’ve gathered sources and a friend told me that people in my situation go to Quiapo to avail the pills that would abort the embryo. My boyfriend got the pills (9pcs Misoprostol and 9pcs of unbranded pain reliever) and along with it was a piece of paper with the written instructions, which I later on discovered was an improper procedure. I took the risk of taking a certain dosage without proper consultation from a professional and ended up having a missed miscarriage wherein a week later my ultrasound results found a 7 weeks fetus with no heartbeat inside the placenta. I have not completed the abortion. My doctor advised me to schedule a D&C (Dilatation and Curettage) immediately but I roughly refused. The surgical procedure was too expensive. I didn’t know where else to get that amount of money. I ran out of hope. I was on the verge of ending my life from all the stress. I stopped living. I stayed at home all day and went out only when I was told to. I didn’t want to socialize with people because laughing and smiling was even harder to do. I hated myself and accepted how I have already failed in life. All I had in mind was how disappointed my mom would be if she found out about my situation… She would never want to see me like this.
Until one day, I came across an article online about a girl who was in the same situation as I was. She talked about herbal medication and somehow that gave me hope. I was able to contact her through e-mail and thankfully, I received a response. Although she told me how herbal medications only work for those who are less than 3 weeks pregnant, she gave me another option. She introduced me to Project 486, a network of pro-choice health professionals who guide and support you throughout the process of medical abortion. I researched about them and I came across their website that had a lot of testimonies from women who have gone through the process with their help. I didn’t hesitate and contacted them right away. I knew they were the right people to approach especially when we live in a country that doesn’t support abortion and despise people who see it as an option. I needed a professional who would support the decision I’m going through. I needed someone who’d understand and that is Project 486.
So here I am, thanking Project 486 for giving me hope in fixing my life again. With the amount of information and guidance I have received, I believe that I am in good hands. I know that I’m facing the consequences of my mistakes but this is me taking charge of my life and my future. Someday I would be successful and would be able to give my family and my firstborn a better life.
… to be continued.
-J, 21, College student
J, with the help of the genuine meds and right procedure from Project 486 has finally expelled the POC’s. The POC’s that she expelled were obviously dead for quite sometime. She was at risk of infection, luckily she was successful this time having done it with the right medicine and the right procedure.
PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XIX
To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion with Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection on their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential). A “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery and to a new beginning. Here’s one reflection from She, 22-years old Veterinary Med student from Samar.
Magandang umaga Sir,
Isa po ako sa mga taong may malaking pasasalamat sa grupo ninyo, taos puso po akong nagpapasalamat sa inyo!
Ibabahagi ko lang po ang kaunting istorya ko po. Ako po ay isang Vet.Med student at kasalukuyang nasa ika anim na taon, at dahil po dito mas nangibabaw po talaga sa akin ang pagpapakuha ng malaman ko po at na kumpirmang buntis po ako. Alam ko po malaking kasalanan pero kung ang kapalit naman ay ang kinabukasan ko, at kung ipapatuloy ko… wala pa rin akong siguradong magandang kinabukasan na maibibigay sa kanya, ayokong dumati g araw na sisihin nya ako na hindi ko maibigay sa kanya ang buhay na dapat nyang matamasa…
Nang malaman kong buntis po ako, apat na araw na hindi ako dinatnan, madaling araw po akong ng PT noon tapos ng makita ko ang dalawang linya sa dalawang PT na sinubukan ko, di ko alam kung maiiyak ba ako or ano… Blanko po talaga… Kaya nag search ako sa internet at may nakitang “herbal way of abortion”, isang blog ang nabasa ko kaya agad amo nga email sa email address na nanduon… at nabasa ko po na ‘plan b’ po ang project na to at inilagay ng blogger ang email nyo…
Isang linggo po akong nagbabakasakaling makakaya ng herbal way, idagdag pa po na Intrams week namin at may laro kami dula sa isang araw, bali tatlong araw yong Intramurals namin… Pumupuslit na umaalis at umiinom ng gamot kada oras, nagbabaon po ako non… Di ko na kilala ang katawan ko, mabilis na akong mapagod at kahit kaunting takbo pakiramdam ko isang libot ng oval na ang nagawa ko… Natakot ako at nangamba na baka d kaya ng herbal way dahil sa pagiging player ko. Pangkalahatan nakaka.stress po talaga sa maraming paraan, yong pagiging desperado ko na makabili ng mga gamit sa herbal na bumabyahe pa ako ng isang oras sa pabilihan at isang oras pauwi, yong d na ako nakaramdam ng gutom sa pag.aabala na baka magsuka ako, ilang botelyang gamot ang na inom ko, na gumigising ako ng madaling araw, na may exam pa ako na hindi ko makayang mag.focus (buti nlng first long pa lang makakabawi pa), yong nasa isip ko lng kung paano ko to matatanggal, hindi pa ako handa, hindi pa talaga kami handa…
Hanggang sa umiinit ng ulo ko na inaaway ko ng nobyo ko, na sa galit ko sa problema gusto ko ng humiwalay sa kanya, na halos gabi2 umiiyak ako, na pakiramdam ko wala akong matatakbohan, hindi ko alam ano ng gagawin ko… Tinigil ko na ang herbal way masakit na sa bulsa, nauubusan na ako ng pasensya at pag.asa… Kaya ayon na pag.desisyonan kung mag.email sa inyo… Alam kong malaking halaga talaga ang magagasta pero kung ikukumpara sa pambuhay ko rito walang tama ang magagasta ko sa inyo, at dahil wala pa akong trabahi at ang nobyo ko lang ang nakatapos at may trabaho kaya yon nangutang ako sa kanya…
Nagresearch ako sa mga abortion pill na na.mention nyo po at medyo nag.alinlangan ako sa mga side effecta ng gamot… Idagdag pa ang gastosin. Habang naghinhintay ako sa pera, pinipilit ko ang sarili ko na parang sa dating ako lng pero wala talagang oras na d ako makapag.isip ng malalim… parang pasan ko ang mundo… parang nagraramdaman ko na ‘suicidal’ na ako… Na habang nakatitig ako sa mga Lidocaine at surgical blade, ini.imagine ko na nagla.lidocaine ako tapos yong blade i.sa.slice ko sa pulso ko… yong mga tipong ganun, napaka desperada ko na….
Hanggang sa dumating yong araw na may pera na at magpapadala na ako, desperada na talaga ako na talagang walang pagdududa na pagtitiwala, kayo lng ang inaasahan kong makakatulong talaga sa akin. Nabuhayan kasi ako ng loob ng nagtawag at may kaunting advices si Sir John-stress-free… Binuhay nyo po talaga ang pag.asa ko… Na kaunting negative vibes nalang ang na.iwan…
At ang araw na hinahangad ko na matapos na ang problema ko tungol dito, pero sa ngayon po ang pakiramdam ko napakasama kong tao… Na pakiramdam ko kasalan ko kung bakit d ko naisip na ganito ang mangyayari, kung di ko nlng yon ginawa, kung d namin ginawa… unexpected to eh, d pa sya ready lalo naman ako… kagabi ng lumabas na, hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko… kung matutuwa ba ako, maawa, blanko na naman akong nakatutok sa kinuha ko na inilagay ko sa batya… tama ba ang ginawa ko? tama naman po siguro dba? napakalaki ng kasalanan ko na talagang dadalhin ko talaga hanggang sa mabura nako sa mundo… ‘parang may forever pa to sa akin’ nakokonsenya po talaga ako na ewan ko talaga… di ko kayang itama ang mali kung nagsimula sa mali, parang ang resulta mali pa rin eh… 😦 napakamali… parang wala na akong karapatang magkaroon ng anak pagdumating na ang araw… parang gusto kong magtanda na lng na dalaga… parang d ko ma.akong mangloko na naman ng lalaki tapos ganito ang nakaraan ko, mas lalong ayoko ng magtagal sa nobyo ko ngayon matapos ang ginawa ko, matapos na mapag.desisyunan namin ‘tong gawin… parang ang lapit ng karma sa amin kung kami ang magkasama…. tatakot ako sa maaring ibalik nito akin balang araw pero tatanggapin ko pa rin…
I have my life again but the damage stays forever…. 😦 ayaw kong magsalita ng tapos pero i’ll never take this mistake again…. It’s the most… darkest nightmare of my life… for 7 weeks and 5days of my life were the days that I’m living with fears, depression, sadness, life realizations, anger, blame, seeking for second chances… but I think I’ll take this guilt forever… 😦 It’s like a 9-magnitude earthquake, this really changed my life but I’ll rebuild myself ( in a process, maybe?) after this strong quake of my life but i don’t know how… 😦
p.s sir John-stress-free thank you so much po talaga sir!! and sa project 486 thank you po talaga!
-She, 22, Vet Med Student, Samar
” Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you.” – P. Dixon
PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XVIII