PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XV

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with  Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection on their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from  Em,  a  20-year old student from  Benguet,  Philippines. 

Call me Em from Benguet, 20

This is kinda long so please bear with me.
I felt something’s wrong 2 wks after unsafe sex. But I was so scared to buy a pregnancy test kit, who would have the guts to do that?! Then I missed my period. My boobs felt heavier and hard most of the time (i dont know if its because the weather here in the highland is cold) I waited for another week, My period didn’t came. I got no choice but to buy a pregnancy kit but I did not use it yet until 3 days. I almost died when I saw 2 effin’ lines. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to tell. So I kept it to myself. I went to google – I searched for stuffs that would help me miscarry the baby. I tried different “natural ways” like Vit.C overdose, parsley, sesame seeds, papaya, pineapple. Like everyday kong kinakain at iniinom lahat yan for a week. I even tried to punch my tummy, jump, and run. Unfortunately, walang nangyari.
 I tried to email one blogger, and she Suggested Project486 < project 486.ca@gmail.com>.
I had second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh thought before I contacted them.
I was so desperate na that time. I might change my mind kasi kapag tumagal at mabuo na yung fetus. I gave them all the information they asked (for them to be able to assess you and your situation)
I decided to tell my mom about my situation. Fortunately, i got the best mom in the world – she comforted me and told me that everything will be alright. She told me to keep it, that it’s a blessing. Nagunaw yung mundo ko. Ang dami ko pang plano, ang dami ko pang gustong gawin at hindi pa kasama dun si baby, kailangan ko ng grumaduate. Ang selfish kung iisipin pero di pa talaga pwede. I love kids, I love babies. Fast forward. Gusto ko talaga ng baby pero hindi pa talaga ngayon. Gusto ko yung stable na ko financially, emotionally, psychologically.
My mom’s a nurse kaya against siya, It might cause harm or even death daw, dahil hindi nga pinapractice yun dito sa Pilipinas pero I told her everything, I explained to her kung ano ba talaga yung gusto kong mangyari, at yung desisyon ko. She knows I am suicidal. She knows I am clinically diagnosed with depression. She knows what will happen if this will continue. She knows I am not okay psychologically. She knows I cant do this.
So After ko siyang makausap, pumayag siya. She sent me the money for the meds. I told her about the procedure and time table and eveything about the process since malayo siya at di niya ko masasamahan, she told me to do everything that was told. Wag daw akong pasaway at wag daw akong matakaw. Natatakot siya baka daw di ko mapigilan kumain. 😂
I was so scared. Baka hindi ko magawa ng maayos. Baka mag fail. Baka mag cause ng complication. Baka this will be the end of me. I am having my anxiety attacks, but I’m afraid to take my meds for anxiety cause it might affect the medication. I tried to keep calm then sir John made sure that everything will be okay. Just relax and do everything as told. Saktong long weekend, and wala akong roommate so I was able to do it na medyo kalmado, wala din akong iniisip na class.
So I did. I did the procedure with Sir John guiding me.
Firts day, didnt feel anything.
Second day, gutom. Hahaha
3rd day, after the miso, i felt pain – cramps. Pangangalay, because of the position. My body felt heavy and very uncomfortable. But after few hours, ‘things’ started to come out. I emailed it to them and waited for their final assessment. I was so nervous. It might not be it. But when i received the text from sir John, I never thought that all the discomfort and pain would make me feel so relieved.
I felt guilt. I felt sadness. I felt anger, and I am still feeling it all now. But I know, I’ll get through this and so do you.
I’m so sorry my little Angel. I might not be able to guide you while you grow, but please watch over mommy from where you are. I love you and I always will. I just dont want you to feel that you are unplanned and at fault.
Thank you Sir John, Sir Alex and the rest of the Project486 for helping me. (Even though I’m makulit) I really owe you a lot. Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou!
I hope you’d be able to help other sisters who are in need.
PS, Ladies, always practice safe sex so we don’t have to go through this very hard decision. Make sure this is what you really want. If you can keep the baby without any problem, please do. But if you cant, then you can ask these guys for help. Do whatever they say, rest assured everything will be okay.
Em, 20 , student
Benguet,Philippines
” Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you.” – P. Dixon
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PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XV
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PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XIV

To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with  Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) , we encourage them to make a reflection on their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from  Molly,  a  23-year old businesswoman from  Antipolo City, Rizal,  Philippines. 

Kindly changed nalang po my name and location for anonymity thank you. 🙂

Reflection:

Its been exactly a month now since the procedure and I can say i fully recovered from this experience. I don’t even know how to start…

The moment I saw that 2 lines I felt scared and alone. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin kung matatanggap ba pero isa lang ang alam ko parehas kaming hindi ready. I really am stressed out I searched the net and found this herbal thing that will helped me induced my period. It was so stressful i need to drink every hour I haven’t slept well but I must do it. A week passed and it didnt work then I saw Project 486 <project486.ca@gmail.com>. But first I was hesitant I did not contact them immediately. I tried a medicine that will help me  get my period didn’t work. I had found a legit source.of Cytotec drank 1 tablet and inserted 2 but again did not worked. Time was running out and i cannot turn back because I have done a lot already and If i decided to push through who knows im liable for bringing out a child that may not be as normal as everyone else based from my wrong decisions. And so i decided to contact project 486 and crossed my fingers that they will be able to help me.

Project 486 was really a accomodating. They emailed me asap and assigned sir john as the consultant. I realized a lot of things while having that conversation at first i was afraid of the procedure i did not know what to expect what the pain will feel like but alI i know is im in the right hands. All throughout the procedure I feel secure i managed to overcome the pain. When I saw the POCs i felt relieved but at the same time disappointment and guilt struck me and my bf. We said sorry. And up to this day it will still be remembered.

I never would have thought that such group.will help us to continue on with our lives because they gave us that choice to do so. I learned a lot and I hope that you guys will be able to help more women like me who felt the same anxiety that I had experienced before but thanks to project 486 it made me value even more the decisions and actions that we are.accountable for. If some of you ladies are reading my reflection you are in safe hands with these guys up until now I can still communicate with them and I continue to update them with my recovery. Thank you again project 486. If i could only hug each one of you guys I will but all i can do is a virtual hug via email. Hehe.

Molly, 23, Antipolo Rizal

” Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you.” – P. Dixon


PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec) in the Philippines XIV

PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec ) in the Philippines XIII

 To cope with the range of emotions that our patients undergo after the procedure (Medical Abortion  with  Abortion Pills Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec ) , we encourage them to make a reflection on their experience and share them with us and the world ( their personal data kept confidential).  A  “reflection” will help them unload much of that emotional baggage. This activity will surely benefit them  a lot as they embark on the road to a full recovery  and to a new  beginning.  Here’s one reflection from Leila,  a  26-year old account manager from  Baguio City, Philippines. 
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I am 26 yrs old and I was going 6 weeks when I had my Transvaginal Ultrasound that showed a gestational sac and a very small yolk sac with no baby yet. I decided to terminate my pregnancy with a confirmation that there had been no fetal pole yet as I know I could no longer do it if I knew that there was already a confirmed life inside my womb.
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I love my baby so much. His father loves him too. I never imagined myself doing an abortion until I came to this point. I had an affair with a married guy and yes he was the father and I could not live with a fact that my baby would never have a father who could stay with him as long as he wanted. I could not accept that my baby would suffer the consequences of my wrong doing so yes, I decided not to have him yet, I know it was not the right time.
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As soon as the first drop of my blood showed up, my tears never stopped from falling. I knew it was him and I knew that he was already giving up. I loved him, and I still do. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life. The father never knew I did this. He just knew that I had a miscarriage. When I told him I was bleeding heavily, we were both crying. While he cried for feeling irresponsible that he was not there all the time during my very sensitive pregnancy, I was crying so many reasons and with the heaviest heart. I never imagined myself doing it with my angel. Ever.
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Within 48 hrs of taking the meds, the POC came out. I was in the cr alone, crying so hard while nobody knew what was actually going on. I was praying so hard. I was asking for forgiveness from that tiny soul, I was asking for forgiveness from Up Above for doing such. I felt that I was the less deserving person to be ever happy again in this world.
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It’s been a week since it happened. I feel a little better because I know that I will meet my baby soon when his Daddy comes in our life, at the right time, with the right person. I keep on wishing to God that he will give me the same soul of my baby. I want that baby. I want my baby. I want him back. I missed him and will forever do.
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I would never wish for anyone to experience the same thing. Nevertheless, I would like to thank John for keeping an eye while I did this alone. Also thanks to Alex.
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Leila, 26
Baguio City, Philippines
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” Take hold of your future or the future will take hold of you.” – P. Dixon
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PROJECT 486: A Patient’s Reflection on Her Medical Abortion Procedure  (Abortion Pills: Mifepristone and Misoprostol or Cytotec ) in the Philippines XIII